How parents and teachers can work together to resolve children’s conflicts without taking sides.

Have you ever received a call saying your child was involved in a conflict at school and your heart jumped to your child's defense before you even heard the other side of the story? We’ve all been there. As parents and teachers, we care deeply for children and want to protect them, but in that rush to defend them, we sometimes end up taking sides without meaning to. And when that happens, solving the conflict becomes even harder.

But if we look closely, children’s conflicts are actually powerful moments to teach them life skills, integrity, communication, and how to resolve differences calmly. For that to happen, we need to stand together as parents and teachers: without anger, without defensiveness, and without bias.

Why avoiding bias matters

When we handle conflicts fairly:

• Children learn the value of justice by watching us model it.

• Small disagreements don’t grow into long-term resentment.

• Trust grows between teachers, parents, and children.

• We guide children to solve challenges instead of blaming each other.

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Practical ways we can work together, fairly and calmly

1. As parents: Let’s listen to our children with calmness

We should give our children the space to explain what happened, how they felt, and what they wish had happened. Let’s avoid defensive statements like, “I know you would never do that.”

Instead, we can use open questions that invite honesty:

• “How did you feel when that happened?”

• “How would you like us to support you?”

2. As teachers: Let’s share clear, structured information

We should explain where and when the incident happened, who was involved, what was said or done, and any steps the school administration already took. This helps parents see the bigger picture, not just one side of the story.

3. Together: Let’s hold respectful, goal-focused conversations

Parent-teacher discussions should never turn into a competition between adults. Our shared goal is simple: the child’s wellbeing and restoring peace.

During these conversations, we should aim to:

• Acknowledge each child’s feelings

• Avoid blame

• Agree on immediate steps and follow-up actions

4. Involve the children in finding the solution

Children need to understand that they are not passive observers in their own conflict. Let’s help them express themselves, identify where things went wrong, and learn to take responsibility.

We can guide them with questions like:

• “Do you feel you can forgive each other?”

• “What would you like the other person to do differently next time?”

• “What can you change so this doesn’t happen again?”

This teaches them forgiveness, boundaries, and healthy relationship building.

The goal is not to find a winner, it's to build character

When it comes to children’s conflicts, there is no prize for who was ‘right.’ What matters is helping them grow, building integrity, emotional control, and problem-solving skills.

When we treat both children with fairness, we teach them that their voices matter, their feelings are respected, mistakes can be corrected, and that conflicts don’t break relationships, they help strengthen them

Children understand the world through us. When they see us standing together with calmness, fairness, and wisdom, they learn that conflicts are part of life and that solutions come through dialogue, not bias.

That’s how we begin to raise a generation that is self-aware, respectful, and capable of resolving its challenges with maturity.

Prepared by C-Sema's Communication Team.